children make terrible gods – 2

Bailey, my daughter, and I would play fun games every night when she was four years old. “Her Royal Highness Crazy Hairdo Hour,” as we affectionately called it, was pretty much my way of doting over her while emphasizing, “Bay, this is how a boy must treat you, little lady, because you are a Precious Princess of the Most-High God!”

Our routine never deviated. It always began like this: Swirls of moose from an aerosol can resembling a marshmallow tower atop her head, stopping only when the mound collapsed to the side. Painting her nails with the “sparkliest of colors” came next. Followed by samplings of European perfumes. Hair combing that necessarily included drying with a dryer. Interesting how the littlest things captivate children’s imaginations, with hairdryers topping the list. Then, one day, things changed, even before I could complete the marshmallow-like moose tower atop her head: “Daddy, why don’t you ever say these sweet things to Mommy?

And you know what? Her suggestion, which I took as such, not a question, wasn’t a one-off. It soon became part of the routine. This was my four-year-old’s way of communicating: “I desperately desire you to love my mother better. My world feels so right and secure when you do.”

I got the point then, but I need to get it again and again today, some 21 years later. Grown-up kids are no different than little ones; they just grow bigger, that’s all. Age or distance matters not. My four children need me as much now as at any other time to love their mother well. It not only breeds security in them but instills hope in the tattered institution of marriage itself. Plus, when their kids come along, a healthy pattern of parenting has already been established.

Generational wealth has become a popular tagline lately. You see it all over social media. But what if we started talking about generational health instead, particularly among families? Let’s face it, the abundance of more stuff (i.e., money and resources) has failed to bring about the contentment we anticipated. Nor will it.

How often do you hear couples stressing over providing their kids with material well-being? Constantly. But giving kids additional stuff stacked upon more stuff is not the answer. Kids need to observe their moms and dads giving each other their undivided attention, actively engaging with each other undisturbed and from a distance where they cannot interrupt. Children listen with their eyes. If they don’t see it, “I love your mother/father so much,” they won’t believe it.

Without question, the notion of seeing is believing is a discernable pattern seen throughout Scripture. Put differently, if you desire your kids to behave a certain way, in this case, building solid marriages one day, model it for them! It’s not complicated. God created us to be imitators. It’s that simple:

·     How can we be holy? Be imitators of God…and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us. Eph. 5:2

·     What constitutes godly living? The things you learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Phil. 4:9

·     How must a man treat his wife? Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Eph. 5:25

·     How can a little girl discern what it feels like to be treated like a princess? By observing her daddy treating her mother as such.

Practically, here are four tasks you can implement right away:

1st – Set your phone’s screensaver to a picture of your spouse, minus the kids, for a month. It’s hard to pick who will benefit most, kids or spouses.

2nd – Let your kids witness you kissing your spouse on the cheek today and tell them how beautiful/handsome their mom/dad is.

3rd – Do the suggested “Couch Time” homework in part 1 of children make terrible gods.

4th – Writing blogs can be challenging but also rewarding whenever change occurs. I’d love to hear from you if you’re committed to loving your spouse better starting today.

Jesus said, for those who have ears to hear, let them hear.

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By George Shamblin Family & Friends, Uncategorized 0 Comments